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Adventure T-Shirt -
The word you use to make "sleeping in the dirt and suffering" sound fun.
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Aero Helmet T-Shirt -
A futuristic-looking helmet designed for speed, but mostly makes you look like an alien.
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Aero T-Shirt -
What you blame when you get dropped, even though it's mostly your legs.
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Attack T-Shirt -
A sudden burst of speed used to drop your friends and make enemies on group rides.
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Attack T-Shirt -
The moment someone accelerates just enough to ruin your day.
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Base Weight T-Shirt -
The number you lie about when bragging about your ultralight setup.
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Bear Hang T-Shirt -
The art of trying to suspend food in a tree while secretly hoping no bears show up.
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Bike Therapist T-Shirt -
A two-wheeled therapist, powered by coffee and questionable life choices.
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Bikepacking Rig T-Shirt -
A fully loaded adventure bike that makes you question your packing decisions.
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Bivy T-Shirt -
A minimalist sleeping bag cover that ensures maximum suffering and condensation.
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Bonktraption T-Shirt -
Any snack you find in your jersey pocket to avoid complete energy collapse.
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Boot T-Shirt -
A desperate tire patch made from trash because you definitely didn’t bring a spare tube.
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Brake Fade T-Shirt -
That terrifying moment when you realize your brakes are only a suggestion.
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Brooks T-Shirt -
A leather saddle that costs more than your tent and takes a decade to break in.
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Bump Track T-Shirt -
A road so rough you start questioning your life choices.
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Bunny Hop T-Shirt -
A technique used to jump obstacles, usually attempted right before a crash.
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Clipless Pedal T-Shirt -
Pedals that lock your feet in place to help you go faster—and occasionally tip over at stoplights.
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Commuter Bike T-Shirt -
A two-wheeled vehicle that fights potholes, rain, and rush hour traffic daily.
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Cylist T-Shirt -
A person who pays money to suffer up hills for fun. See also: masochist.
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Derailleur T-Shirt -
A mechanical wizard that changes gears, unless it’s Monday—then it’s just drama.
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Draft line T-Shirt -
The sweet spot behind another cyclist where you feel like a superhero—briefly.
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Drafting T-Shirt -
A strategic move where you let someone else fight the wind while you pretend to be athletic.
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Dropper post T-Shirt -
A magical seat adjustment that lets you go from upright dignity to downhill madness.
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Dust Beard T-Shirt -
The gritty layer on your face after hours of gravel grinding—earned, not applied.
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Enduro T-Shirt -
A race where riders tackle punishing climbs just to bomb down terrifying descents.
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Fixie T-Shirt -
A single-speed bike for urban riders who think brakes are optional and coolness is mandatory.
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Flat Tire T-Shirt -
Nature’s way of saying, "You didn’t bring a spare tube, did you?"
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Gnarly T-Shirt -
Slang for a trail that’s both terrifying and awesome. Often muttered while bleeding slightly.
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Gravel Grinder T-Shirt -
A long, punishing ride on gravel roads where pain is temporary, but dust is forever.
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Gravel curious T-Shirt -
Describes roadies who secretly crave dirt roads but fear leaving their lycra comfort zones.
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Gravel rash T-Shirt -
The painful souvenir you get when the gravel bites back. See also: road rash.
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Helmet hair T-Shirt -
The unavoidable hairstyle that says, “Yes, I biked here.”
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KOM/QOM T-Shirt -
King/Queen of the Mountain: A Strava title awarded for going up hills faster than your competition—and suffering for it.
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Lycra T-Shirt -
A strategic move where you let someone else fight the wind while you pretend to be athletic.
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Messenger Bag T-Shirt -
A cyclist’s backpack alternative that holds your life, snacks, and occasionally your dignity.
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Over The Bars T-Shirt -
The sudden and unplanned act of flying over your handlebars. See also: faceplant.
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Peloton T-Shirt -
A group of road cyclists riding together for speed, safety, and questionable gossip.
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Road Rash T-Shirt -
The painful evidence of when speed meets pavement. See also: cycling scars.
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Rock Garden T-Shirt -
A trail section designed by nature—or a sadist—to make you appreciate suspension technology.
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Saddle Sore T-Shirt -
A rite of passage for cyclists. Often accompanied by loud complaints and awkward walking.
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Saddle Time T-Shirt -
The hours spent riding your bike, often equal to the hours spent avoiding responsibilities.
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Shred T-Shirt -
To ride downhill at exhilarating speeds while dodging rocks, trees, and your better judgment.
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Single Track T-Shirt -
A narrow trail where mountain bikers go to question their life choices and balance skills.
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Skid Stop T-Shirt -
A fixie braking technique that looks cool but burns through your tires and savings.
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Spokes T-Shirt -
The tiny metal rods holding your wheel together, along with your fragile ego.
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Traffic Slalom T-Shirt -
The art of weaving through cars, buses, and pedestrians without losing your temper—or your balance.
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Trail Fairy T-Shirt -
A mythical being who clears trails and smooths obstacles, but only in your dreams.
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Tubeless T-Shirt -
A miraculous tire system that turns punctures into minor inconveniences—most of the time.
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ULOCK T-Shirt -
A heavy-duty bike lock that keeps your ride safe—or doubles as a self-defense tool.
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Washboard T-Shirt -
A bumpy section of gravel road that shakes your soul, your bike, and possibly your dental fillings.
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